Navigating the emotional side of succession

Have you had discussions about succession with your family and ended up in a tsunami of emotion? 

Succession is inevitable, but the success of the plan and ultimately the business, hinders on the transparent conversations and honesty of all members of the family organization. By creating a safe environment for open discussions, conflict deliberation, and active listening,  you can navigate to a sustainable plan for the succession of the business and the family.

However, without addressing the underlying emotional issues that often reside just below the surface before you focus on the technical aspects of succession planning, your time and money may be wasted, and your plan may be doomed.  The fear of conflict may drive some family members to put off the conversations, but it is better to have them early when everyone is getting along, then while you are mourning a loss or in the heat of a battle.  Succession planning is a process, not an event. Presenting it as a process rather than an event may also help as very often it is perceived as an event.

Here are a few suggestions to get you to the table and start the journey. 

Understand the generational differences.

Succession planning in a family business can evoke different emotions depending on which generation you are in. If you are the rising generation stepping into a leadership role or taking on the ownership of the business, you are likely to feel very different to those in the senior generation.  For the founding generation, asking them to give up the helm can be like asking them to give up a limb.  Consider that their role in the business may be part of who they are as a person, part of their identity. Their ownership is reward for their years of blood, sweat and tears in something that may even have been around longer than you have.  So, while you may feel impatient, excited, and eager to start these discussions, the first step would be to try and understand what the senior generation is feeling about it.

This discussion is not easy and one that invites us to talk about our fears, our emotions and for most, it can be uncomfortable and easy to avoid.  However, each day that passes is another day closer to when the issue may be forced upon you by circumstance rather than choice, and that will most likely lead to challenges.

It may be easier to talk to someone who is not linked to the business, either someone who is trained and able to explore these issues with you, or someone you know who may have been through something similar.

Clarify and be specific about what you are going to discuss and your desired outcome.

Make sure you are specific on WHAT you are discussing and the specific outcome you are looking for.  You don’t want to be talking about taking on a leadership role while the founding generation is discussion complete ownership transition and consequently you are getting your lines crossed.  Each of the perceived succession events, such as leadership roles, real estate holding, and change of ownership, are ideally the result of a carefully and sensitively managed process, that has explored all of the hopes, dreams, fears and concerns of all those involved. Starting the discussions around this is not the same as the event that makes any changes formal, but it can feel like that.  Appreciating other’s views and showing empathy for how they may be feeling about it is a great way to encourage this as a collaborative process, rather than them feeling forced out of something they love and have great pride in.

This may be the catalyst that leads to other discussions, remember this isn’t something that has to be done in one sitting.

Now is the time, plan before there is a death

We are emotional creatures, and while logic may dictate that we should have succession plans in place, our thoughts and feelings put barriers and excuses in the way.

This is also why many people don’t have a valid Will in place. They think that this means they are going to die. The two are not linked, however, dying with a Will in place is usually far better than dying without one.  It is the same with a succession plan.

I get it, no one wants to talk about death, (or taxes for that matter), but we should plan for life after.

The planning process should bring peace of mind, if carried out well it will address all of the concerns of all those involved and so could be re-framed as a positive rather than a negative emotional experience. It will not be a breeze and smooth sailing, there will be stormy weather and difficult conversations, but with the right facilitation and attitude from all it can be far more rewarding than perhaps it is perceived.

How many times have you heard “it just isn’t the right time to start succession planning” and so it is something that is put aside until there is a right time.  Now is the right time!  It may be that you or whoever the successor is does not possess the right skills etc. but understanding that and being honest about that is the first step in overcoming that barrier and will give you time to seek education.

Having transparent discussions about emotional topics in not easy alone.  Using a facilitator who is working for the family as a whole, rather than for an individual or for the business entity, can be hugely valuable in these circumstances. They will be used to having these discussions, used to hearing the fears and concerns and will be empathetic towards those feeling them.  Facilitators are able to give everyone in the process a voice and create an environment that helps people feel heard and to explore their options.  This will typically lead to far more meaningful discussions when it comes to the financial and technical matters that will need to be put in place to deliver a meaningful succession plan.